Am I an Introvert?

I've been thinking about letting this post "flow into the sea of blogoverse" for a while, but it was too serious random weird deep  much for speaking it out loud, until recently I thought "What the heck, it's not something to be ashamed of".

So here I am. As you can see by the title, it's gonna be tough one. I mean, it's not like I doubt the fact that I am an introvert, no, I am pretty sure it is true, but what I am not sure if it is the state of...mind I always was in, since the beginning.

I guess I became an introvert, somewhere in middle school. I don't remember much from my early childhood years, but according to my parents I was much more content and social than I am now, and everything changed through my teenage years when I had to change schools, and things in new school didn't go well.

Nowadays, I can just name the things as they really are, without getting emotinal. So, yes, I was bullied in middle and high school, probably all years except senior one, since everyone been finally more interested in better grades and getting accepted to a college, than in bullying a girl they didn't like. And even though I am over that stuff, and no longer having these people in my life, I still wonder, what if my school years were different?

Would I be a different person? I think I would. All I am trying to say is that even though I trained myself to never depend on others, never open up or show emotion, even though I am fine with spending days alone and doing everything on my own, sometimes I want it to change. All these things I've mentioned about my personality, they may look cool, but in reality, it kinda sucks.

Because sometimes you gotta open to people and let them in, sometimes you gotta trust them and accept their help and show that you care, but I shut it all off. So now I really wonder, is it really me being an introvert or me being mentally scarred?

This post is by no means a way to make you feel sorry for me. No.

It's a shoutout to all of you, who feel uncomfortable on public.
For those, who feel too shy to make friends or flirt.
For those, who are afraid of being laughed at.
For those, who've ever been betrayed by people they trusted, so now they don't give others a chance.
I feel ya there, and if you, the person reading my post, find yourself related to this topic, then you are not alone, there is at least two of us now.

I just wish people would realize how strong their impact on others can be, and that the actions of one single person can change so much. But the saddest thing is you never learn what pain is until you are hurt. You can't make them understand how much you suffer, unless they experience the exact same pain they caused to others. See the irony?