Friday, September 5, 2014

ANTI ADVICES: How to make people hate you

1.Talk about yourself. Seriously, whatever the conversation is about, just try to turn it into a monologue about your precious life, and if you fail at changing the topic, just stop talking about whatever you and your opponent were discussing and start talking about your problems, like SURPRISE BET YOU DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

2. Stop saying "thank you". They did something for you? Good pet, now kiss your queen's hand and get out of my sight. Always remember - the whole world owes you. Just like that.

3. Randomly stop connecting your friends in any way. If they ask what's wrong, just be like "Nothing", pull on a poker face and walk away like a boss.

4. If they find a way to tug you into any sort of communication, use the "nevermind" weapon.
You:I wanted to tell you something...
Friend:What is it?
You: Nevermind.

Use at least once a day, repeat if needed.

5. Spread rumours. No, it doesn't matter if gossips you pass on are true or false, so if anyone states that your sayings are false facts, be like "Well duh, I ain't a Wikipedia, bitch."

6. Flirt with your friends' crushes. Preferably in front of them.

7. If you have an iPhone, SHOW EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG THAT YOU HAVE IT.

8.  Always be sad or depressed, and try to wipe your depression all over the rest.

9. If someone tells you they like something, make sure they know that you HATE that thing.

10. "Forget" about your friend's birthday, and never send any birthday wishes.
Like seriously, why should I remember your birth date, you ain't my favorite celebrity or something.


(please note, this post is strictly for fun and laughs, do not follow these options, unless you truly want people to dislike you....because this stuff works, you know.) xx




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